Mini Meltdown

Well I had myself a mini meltdown today.  This past week has been filled with an unusual amount of stuff just not going my way!  And today it all just came bubbling over.  Moments like I had earlier today, make me wish I could have had my meltdown in the comfort of my home....all alone...but no...I had to share my meltdown with others....sigh....the joys of living life.

I suppose the most frustrating part is knowing I want more from myself, and my representation of Jesus to the world.  I know I fail Him, but I also know how much He loves me, even in my less than graceful moments.

And in HIS grace, He reminded me tonight of His love by giving me what I needed to read at this moment....

So as usual....I will share....who knows, maybe it will bless one of you as well...or maybe it is only meant for me tonight. 


From "My Utmost for His Highest"

"If you want to know whether God is the God you have faith to believe Him to be, then go through your Jordan alone...At your Bethel you will find yourself at your wits’ end and at the beginning of God’s wisdom. When you get to your wits’ end and feel inclined to succumb to panic, don’t; stand true to God and He will bring His truth out in a way that will make your life a sacrament. Put into practice what you learned .... Determine to trust in God..."

Then from my Bible reading tonight

"For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.  Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen"
Ephesians 3:14-21

Sometimes I wonder, when I read these things at the end of my day what my day would have been like if I had read them at the beginning of my day....would it have altered how my day went?  Or would it have just passed me by without me realizing the importance and love and grace that the words contain.  I guess sometimes I need to have a day where I fall on my face in order to truly see the grace that the Lord is always offering to me.

“Though our feelings come and go, God’s love for us does not.”

-CS Lewis